“He’s a poop-face. He’s a poop-face. You can tell by looking at his face if he’s pooping.” – a group of people behind me as I walked into GMH

“Why’s she in the study hall on a long weekend?” ‘Well, she’s wearing a scrunchie so it’s obvious she doesn’t have a life.’

‎”My arms are too long! For once in my life I wish I was a T-rex!” – Some guy on the bus injuring himself whilest trying to hit his friend

group of students rhyming with the word bear: 1: tear 2: pear 3: underwear 4: underwear doesnt rhyme with pear? 2: if you don’t think underwear rhymes with pear, you are at the wrong f#cking university.

Child Lit Prof: “Imagine I am your fairy godmother, and this is my magic marker. Due to cutbacks it is no longer a wand.”

Prof: I would appreciate if the class could figure out whether or not this is a dogmatism while I eat this nutritious vegetarian wrap.

in IR, talking about oligarchy: Student: Isn’t Putin like an orgy..? Class: *silent confusion* Prof: I think you just said orgy. Class: *loud laughter*

Proff to entire class: “It’s very important that I get you off”

‎”Pissing on the Pee Ball, take the ELP students!”